When Loss Has Changed Your World and You're Not Ready to Rush Toward Closure.
Grief doesn't follow a timeline, and it isn't only about death. Whatever you've lost, individual therapy offers a space to process it at your own pace, without anyone imposing stages or a deadline for being over it.
Book a free 15-minute consultationShelby Doherty-Sirkovich, RP, MACP · CRPO #12083 · CCTS-I · Accepting new clients
Loss Doesn't Follow a Timeline
Grief is what happens when something significant is gone and nothing can bring it back. It isn't only about death, though that's certainly part of it. You can grieve the end of a relationship, a future that won't happen, a version of yourself you've lost, a friendship that faded, or the realization that something you believed in wasn't real.
People expect you to move through stages, reach acceptance, and find closure. Grief doesn't actually work that way. It comes in waves, shows up when you least expect it, and has no regard for anyone else's timeline for when you should be feeling better.
This is individual therapy. The work is not about rushing you toward acceptance or making the grief disappear. It's about helping you process what happened and find a way to carry it forward.
A Few Sentences. See If Any Land.
You're going through the motions but feel disconnected from almost everything, like you're watching your own life from a step behind.
Waves of sadness or anger hit you unexpectedly, sometimes months or years after the loss, often when nothing obvious has triggered them.
You feel guilty when you have a good moment, as though enjoying yourself is a betrayal of what you lost.
People keep asking how you're doing in a tone that suggests they expect you to be better by now.
You're grieving something other people don't recognize as a real loss, so you've stopped mentioning it.
You're caught between wanting to hold onto memories and feeling like you're supposed to move forward, and you can't find the balance.
You wonder whether this sadness will ever actually lift, or whether this is just how things are now.
Making Space for the Full Range of It, Without a Script.
The work is not about reaching acceptance on schedule or making the grief go away. It's about processing what you're carrying and finding a way to live alongside it. In practice, sessions might focus on:
- Making space for what you're actually feeling. Grief is not only sadness. It's anger, guilt, relief, numbness, and confusion, sometimes all at once. There's no forced narrative here about stages or healing.
- Understanding complicated grief. When the relationship was difficult, when there's unfinished business, when others don't validate the loss, or when grief seems to get stuck and won't move.
- Processing the loss without rushing. Sometimes you need to sit with the reality of it before working out what comes next. Narrative and Gestalt approaches can help work through unfinished conversations or unresolved feeling.
- Rebuilding meaning and identity. Major loss often changes who you are and how you see the world. The work involves integrating the loss without letting it define everything.
- Managing the practical impact. Grief affects relationships, work, and daily functioning. We address how it's actually showing up and what you need to navigate it.
The approach is trauma-informed and integrative, drawing from narrative therapy, Gestalt work, ACT, somatic therapy, and psychodynamic therapy, based on what is most useful for each person. We also look at how past losses might be shaping this one, since grief often brings older wounds to the surface.
Adults Carrying a Loss That Hasn't Had Anywhere to Go
- You've experienced a death and the standard support around you has faded, but your grief hasn't.
- You're grieving a loss that isn't a death: a relationship, a marriage, a friendship, a career, a way of life, or a future you were counting on.
- The relationship you're grieving was complicated, and the mix of loss and relief or anger is harder to sit with than simple sadness would be.
- You feel like you're grieving wrong, or too long, or for the wrong thing, and you need somewhere that doesn't judge that.
- An old loss has resurfaced, brought back by something current, and you're realizing it was never fully processed.
You don't need to know what kind of grief you're carrying or whether it qualifies. If something significant is gone and you're struggling with its absence, that's enough to start. The consultation is the right place to figure out whether this is a fit.
Therapy is one form of support, alongside the people in your life, community and faith supports, and grief groups where those help. If you are in crisis, the 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline is available 24/7 by call or text. In an emergency, call 911. For Ontario community and social services, call 211.
Frequently Asked Questions
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No. Grief is a response to significant loss of any kind, including the end of a relationship, estrangement from a family member, the loss of a role or identity, health changes, or any experience where something meaningful is gone. These losses are real and can produce grief that is as complex and disorienting as bereavement.
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There is no universal timeline. Grief is shaped by the nature of the relationship, the circumstances of the loss, available support, concurrent stressors, and earlier loss experiences. Grief that feels active years later is not necessarily a problem, and grief that resolves relatively quickly is not necessarily incomplete. What matters is whether grief is moving or staying stuck.
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Ambiguous grief refers to loss that is not clearly defined or socially recognized, such as mourning a parent who has dementia and is still physically present, processing the end of a relationship that was never officially a relationship, or grieving estrangement from a living family member. It is often particularly disorienting because there is no clear ritual or social script for it.
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Therapy may be useful when grief feels stuck or has not shifted over time, when it is significantly disrupting daily functioning, when the loss involved complicated circumstances (conflict, estrangement, ambiguity), or when you want a space to process the experience without concern about burdening those close to you.
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Grief and depression can look similar, and in some cases they overlap. Grief tends to be more wave-like and often directly connected to thoughts of the loss, while depression tends to be more persistent and pervasive across all areas of life. For a formal assessment, a family physician, psychiatrist, or psychologist can provide that evaluation; a Registered Psychotherapist does not diagnose.
Individual Therapy for Grief, Across Ontario
I work with adults across Ontario navigating grief and loss, including the kinds of loss that other people don't always recognize. My approach is trauma-informed and integrative, and I hold the Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist, Individual (CCTS-I) credential from the Arizona Trauma Institute.
Grief rarely arrives in a tidy form. It can be tangled up with relief, anger, guilt, or older losses that resurface without warning. That whole picture is what we work with together, without a script for how it's supposed to go.
If any of this resonates, a free 15-minute consultation is the place to start. It is a low-pressure conversation to see whether what I offer is a fit.
Book a free 15-minute consultation- Registered Psychotherapist, CRPO #12083
- MA Counselling Psychology, Yorkville University
- BSc Psychology (Hons), University of Toronto
- CCTS-I, Arizona Trauma Institute
- Certificate in Alternative Dispute Resolution, York University